Letting go...

From a week that seemed so out of control, lives crashing together to cause mayhem in my own, to the sweet coming together once again I have found the light in the letting go...

One year of experience and a life time of learning

I revel in the idea that I have been teaching yoga for one year now.  Congrats to me!! Seems much longer because I just love it so much, as though I should have been doing this my whole life.  I am so lucky and grateful for the opportunity to pursue my passion!
I entered into the Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) program with the idea of deepening my understanding of Yoga and to maybe one day be a teacher, although I never thought I would be able (or good enough) to teach to a group of students...  I had fears!
What I really got out of the year long training was so much more than I'd ever expected.  Sure I learned in-depth about asana and it changed my practice immensely and I superficially learned about the gigantic yogic history.  But the most profound learning or realization was about myself.  I have such an appreciation for who I am... as-is!  Along with self-appreciation comes compassion and empathy and understanding for others.  My teacher told me one day, "every person who comes into your life is there to teach you a lesson about yourself".   So I try to figure this out when I am challenged or blessed with a relationship.  It is not always immediate that I see the lessons I am supposed to learn, sometimes it takes a good gab session with a girlfriend over a bottle of wine!  But eventually I find my way.
Without my YTT I probably would be a stunted version of myself. (Stunted is my word of the year!)  Being open to learning about yoga and sharing it with others has granted me gifts and tools for which I am grateful and immeasurably appreciative.
Namaste, may you find your true self.

Be Aware... Stay Connected...

Oprah recently stated in an interview on CNN that she has never been through even an hour of therapy.  She managed to "save" herself by being aware and awake in her everyday life.  A statement that absolutely rings true to me.  I am my best shrink as you are yours too!  Think on that for a minute.

Divine intervention or coincidence?

Sure some instances in life are mere coincidences, finding that lost glove by the scarf you have been looking for!  This probably has no larger meaning in your life than exactly what it is -finding the match to the glove that has been sitting all alone, all while getting the bonus of recovering the lost scarf!- Running into the same person on the same street corner twice, could be a coincidence.  But if you allowed the idea to trespass your thoughts that a lesson may be available in this opportunity, and search for it...  Light bulb moment: it DOES come down to opportunity... (an entire other topic of conversation of course, but let me indulge for a moment; some folks just know how to seize these opportunities and some are completely oblivious to their existence... success vs failure). 

And how do some people struggle to see the divinity in the most significant coincidences?

Those life changing moments that are much too great to be considered a coincidence could be lost as such if we are not aware and connected to the greater meaning of ourselves.  

Gosh, I never thought I would get here...  Saying these things.  10 years ago I would have thought these to be "flacky" statements made only by those who eat granola and leave their armpits au-naturelle!  Is it growing up, or my connection to the universe and self that my yogic path has guided me down?  I find myself eating that granola, liking it and wanting more!  Let me confirm however that the armpits are happily free of debris!

Anyways, back to the divine intervention bit...

A conversation recently about a "coincidence" in someone's life, that was indeed life saving, was laughed off as being such -a neat coincidence...  I was shocked that such an immense, life changing event could be dumbed down to being called that.  This my friend is not a coincidence, this is freaking Divine Intervention...  Not acknowledging this fact, I believe, has dwarfed the life of she who received this grand gesture and gift from the universe.  "She" has been a mystery to me for many years and perhaps after watching the Oprah interview and being reminded of her event I can see now why "she" is so stunted...  

Yes stunted... that would be the most perfect word to describe where she is and perhaps where she will always be.

Had that event been acknowledged as life changing, and truly appreciated, she would be blooming with beauty, happiness and wonder.

This event could have happened to anyone, but it chose her... for some reason, she or I will never be privileged to know.

I can relate to Oprah, I too have never had a moment of therapy, my therapy has been journaling, evenings of wine and conversation with my friends, long moments of introspection and connecting to the world around me through clear eyes and consciousness.

And for all of this I am grateful, and always will be.

Or maybe I am nuts and it is all just a big coincidence!

Patience...

As of lately, I have been talking a lot about patience and having it tested to the limits.  Even as I sit here typing away my daughter is standing at the door yelling and stomping her feet for my attention... The attention that I give her all day long... ... "Look at me, talk mommy..."(awe that makes me feel guilty now)!   There is no more "me" time, I did choose this when I signed up to be a parent didn't I?!
I consider myself to be a fairly patient person in general, at least I was before last month.  Things seem to be changing and sometimes feel like they are getting out of hand.  Don't worry I am handling myself well, but some moments I see red...
That is when I barricade myself in my office for a little breather and yet the furry continues and outside the door. The life and energy of a 2 year old is apparently much more than a zen 30 something can handle at times.
Yes, please, give me a full-time nanny...  AND take away my guilt about wanting that!  Grant me peace, serenity once again along with patience and understanding to get us both through the rest of this day.

Green grass in the dead of a snow storm...

Ok, so after sitting for a few hours editing and completing my blog profile and format I have a subject to write about...  My choice of template!  Perhaps this will change over time, but as of day 1 I chose a wonderfully green and blue landscape with seeding dandelions.  A definite contrast to what I see looking out my window: the snow is piled a few feet high, the sidewalks and roadways are tunnels of frozen whiteness.  In fact, it is almost difficult to differentiate between the road and a snow bank while driving!
So I guess my blog background template is a form of escapism and yearning for a sunnier, warmer, greener kind of day (that is eventually on the distant horizon-the days are getting longer you know!)
So I ask:
Why, in 1754 did Anthony Henday decide that this site along the great North Saskatchewan river would be a good place to start and populate a city?  I am dumbfounded by the unknown answer (well HBC is the answer, but come on... still!) I can only hypothesis of his reasons...  Perhaps it was summer, mid-July possibly, when the river valley is flush with colour, the air light and fragrant from the surrounding nature...  'Cause the only other logical reason for settling any other time of year especially the dead of winter, upon frozen river, Mr. Henday must have had an automatic canoe starter or something like that!

And now 257 years later, here I am because by the luck of the lottery we call life, I was born into Canada (in fact in the dead of winter) and have grown up with fond memories of the snow filled days and cold nights.  My family skied, both cross country and downhill, we tobogganed and skated on frozen lakes and ponds and fished from a hole in the ice and drank hot chocolate after doing so... all of this for entertainment...
It almost sounds crazy!  Thank you Anthony Henday.

Blog on... and so it begins.

Wow, what pressure to name my blog before i have any idea of what it will contain.  Will I journal my thoughts, provide information about my career as a yoga teacher and mother, or write about all the little things that happen in the world around me that I notice and think are relevant and down right irritating or really cool?!!  Yes... maybe...
I don't know... and so the blog begins...

It is ironic, that most of the time I have all these interesting things floating around in my head, and right now I have nothing.... that is right nada!

So until I have an epiphany (or not)...  I will say good night!